About Love
by LuxaLucifer
Summary: It's his eyes, Remus thinks. They're far too piercing, too keen. They see too much. Sirius claims his brother is dim-witted, a inferior follow-up to a superior brother, but Remus has never believed that. Remus/Regulus


Written for Round 7 of the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition as Chaser 2 for the Falcons. I had to break use Regulus with either Sirius or Remus, and I chose Remus. My prompts were "What are you smiling about?", mysteriously silent, and "Ket's go somewhere a little less dull." I hope you like it! :)

"What are you smiling about?"

At first, Regulus makes Remus uncomfortable. It's his eyes, Remus thinks. They're far too piercing, too keen. They see too much. Sirius claims his brother is dim-witted, a inferior follow-up to a superior brother, but Remus has never believed that.

So when Remus finds Regulus looking at him and smiling, his long, thin fingers playing with his green-and-silver tie, Remus cannot help but ask.

"Do you love my brother?" asks Regulus.

Remus can only gape.

"But..." he stammers. "W-W aren't...we don't...how did you know I...?"

"I can see it in your eyes," says Regulus, his smiling dropping. "You are easy to read."

"Oh," says Remus, because he does not know what else to say.

"My brother isn't worth your love," says Regulus, and Remus feels his chest contract.

"There's no need to be cruel," says Remus quietly. "I know I'm not..."

"No," says Regulus, sounding desperate, his facade cracking as he takes a step closer to Remus. "That's not what I meant. _He_ doesn't deserve _you_."

"What?" asks Remus, bewildered.

The idea has never occurred to him. He cannot fathom a relationship where he is the irreplaceable one.

But Regulus will not speak on the matter, remaining mysteriously silent.

The next year, Regulus drops out of Hogwarts to become a Death Eater.

Remus doesn't understand it. Regulus loved school, he knows. Regulus was a top student. Regulus, he thought with a pang, was kinder than Sirius.

Sirius doesn't love Remus back. It takes Remus two years to accept it, right up until they graduate Hogwarts. He will never look at Remus the way he looks at Sirius. He thinks he knew, in his heart. He knew from the moment Regulus Black looked him in the eye and told him that Sirius Black did not love him.

It is not until the next time Remus meets Regulus that he moves on.

They meet in a bar. It is an unlikely reunion, not so much surprising that they are both there, but rather that they have not met before. Remus is spying for the Order, and he has met many Death Eaters by then. He has always let himself forget that Regulus, the boy who rarely smiled, was a member of their ranks. It is easier to pretend they are one large formless mass of evil people rather than formed of people he knows.

Remus is waiting for a drink when Regulus sits next do him. He is thinner now, Remus notices. His eyes are not only haunted with the idea of something dangerous, but with the reality of it.

"I hear you take jobs for my side," says Regulus.

Remus shrugs. "I take work where I can get it," he says.

It is not entirely a lie. He has sunk to embarrassing depths in his poverty lately.

"I was surprised," replies Regulus, and Remus gets the feeling that Regulus is choosing his words carefully. "I had thought...I thought you would side with my brother."

"My life doesn't revolve around your brother," says Remus, realizing that the words are true. "I chose my own path."

"You chose me," says Regulus, and there is an note of wonder in his words.

Remus feels a flare of annoyance spark up. He has not chosen Regulus. He has not chosen Sirius, either. He sides with the Order of the Phoenix because it is the right thing to do, and he spies for it because only he can do it. It has nothing to do with romance. It has nothing to do with love.

It occurs to him that Dumbledore would disagree. It has everything to do with love, he would say, his smile sadder than Remus used to see. Fighting Voldemort is nothing if it is not about love.

That is why Remus reaches out and grabs Regulus's hand. His hand is rough, but so is Regulus's. They are men, and they are fighting a war. But that still does not mean it is not about love.

Regulus looks at him with a gaze that Remus recognizes. It is the same way he used to look at Sirius. He wonders if Regulus has always looked at him like that and he has just failed to notice. He wouldn't be surprised.

"Let's go somewhere a little less dull," says Remus, and Regulus's eyes light up so much that Remus feels good about himself for a fleeting second.

They end up in the alley behind the bar, Remus's hands exploring Regulus's backside, Regulus slamming him against the alley wall as he kisses him.

It occurs to him as he unzips his pants that Regulus is not an attractive man. He cannot explain why he is doing this. He thinks it will have been cruel of him to do this, in the long run, if Regulus really has been so enamored of him all this time.

As hands wander and gasps turn into moans, he cannot bring himself to care.

When they are finished and are cleaning themselves and avoiding eye contact, Regulus speaks. Remus is not expecting it.

"I have..." says Regulus, speaking slowly, afraid every word will break on his tongue. "I have a task to do soon. I can't tell you what it is, only that it'll help your side. Your real side."

Remus's head snaps up and he is reaching for his wand before Regulus steps back and raises his hands in defense.

"Wait," says Regulus. "I'm the only one who knows. To me, you're easy to read."

Remus does not know what to say.

"I just wanted to say..." says Regulus, taking a long, shuddering breath. "Thank you. For tonight, I mean. If I could go back in time, I would kiss you when we were at Hogwarts. But I can't. Right now I can only make amends the best I can."

"What are you going to do?" asks Remus, suddenly afraid for Regulus, a man he barely knows, a semblance of a boy he once knew.

"I have been a coward all my life, and I plan to change that," says Regulus. "If I die, know that I did so doing something good. I was trying to change the world for the better."

"Why tell me?" asks Remus.

Regulus turns his head, and the dark shadows of the alley take any chance of Remus reading his expression away.

"Because someone must know," says Regulus. "Someone needs to care when I die."

Remus kisses him one more time then, the last time anyone ever kisses Regulus Black.

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Reviews be grrrrt, matey! P.S. It's National Talk Like A Pirate Day. :3


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